Are my reasons Valid?

I have to tell you guys something. I am a runaway. I want to list my reasons for running away and ask you if you think they are "valid".

Firstly, my dad is transgender. It didn't really doesn't bother me, but it is embarrassing in public. People hassled me over it. It is really irritating. But that's just one side of the coin. He is very.....irratable. Sometimes he would yell at me to the point of crying, and sometimes he'd threaten me. At the point of leaving he hadn't beaten me, but i am sure he would've had I stayed. Plus he scared me. I remember calling me mom many times, because I was scared for my life.

Secondly, my mom was always promising to divorce and move, after we cleaned out the house. But of course she had been saying that for years. Never even got close to actually doing it.

My life in school has been shit too. I don't wanna really get into it.

This isn't really a reason, but FYI he lived in another house, but he would come home randomly and treat me like he owns me and all that stuff. He would tell me what I can and can't do, even thought my mom said I could do it. More then not, he'd yell at me for the stupidist things. He also had repeatedly flipped out on me when my friends were over, and made me cry in fromt of his side of the family before. Now I actually have to think before I have a friend come over when he's around.
My mom's side of the family wants nothing to do with him. My grades dropped from C's to F's within two school terms. I'm sure that has to do with it. And sometimes people become really sensitive to peoples tone of voice and stuff when they've gone under abuse. I have. My friend was yelling at his TV and I got all teary.

Also, I have read everywhere that those who get abused become abused. So i am trying to escape that, I don;t wanna hurt my kids, and truth be told, I was starting to become an immense asshole, to firends and family. (especially my brother.). Seeing as how my dad became abusive from his dad, I wanna act so that i don't continue that chain. I want my family to be clean and friendly, but by no means average:P

I may have forgotten something, but whatever. All I know is that I am happier now than I was. What would you have done if you were me?

Sean

Being on the road has been stressful, but pleasurable. I guitar skills have doubled, and my song lyrics have never been better. I love nature. I now realize, although I admit I miss xbox :P, a guitar and paper is all I need:)

A determination to make your own way, separate from your parents happens to all young people, its just a part of growing up and moving from what they call dependence to independence.

What the best way for you to do that is... is a question only you can answer.

It may be living on the streets. I'm guessing the only reason why you went in that direction (the streets, rather than just moving out to another residence) is that your financial position is that you can't simply rent somewhere yourself independent of your olds.

Either way, whatever reason you live on the streets, the sooner you are able to get off the streets the better in the long run for you. Primarily because the longer you live on the streets the more it shapes you, the more it hurts you and the more difficult it will be later to get off the streets.

So Sean, I wouldn't question for you if you have a good enough reason to be on the streets... question for you is: what's next? Settle in and live on the streets for another 5 to 10 or more years or start today making your way off the streets and into a life of *your* design.

In terms of your father's sexuality, I don't see that as the problem... my money is on the problem being the way he has treated you or been insensitive towards you. Sounds like he has a lot of trouble of his own he needs to work out and isn't in a position to be there for you as a Dad because of it. The reason I say this is because a number of Dads have other things they are working on and not coping with (an amazing variety of things) but for those that don't cope well... they take it out on their spouse and or their kids or flat out just aren't there for them.

Great to hear from you, I haven't read your other posts yet. How old are you and what country do you live in?

I would rather not give out my exact age, but I am in my teens, and I am in the USA, in New Engalnd.

I am too young to be "emanciptaed" (Move out.) Owning my own house is immpossible. Not to mention the fact I can't support myself....

Sean, I can't answer the question of what I would have done if I were you, because as Dominic said, only you know what's best there. You know all your circumstances, and your options, and all of that comes into a decision to leave. Dominic's the guy who knows about homelessness, so I'll leave that to him.

Maybe I can help you with some of the other things...I'll try. The thing that jumped out at me from your post was when you said how once you've been abused, you become really sensitive. It's not just people's tone of voice either, it's everything about them. You find yourself watching people, you're always wary. I don't think you ever get over that, but it's not totally bad. You get to be very good at being one step ahead of people, and that's a big advantage in life. I don't just mean in situations where somebody might do something to you, but you get to be able to pick up the little signs that something is wrong for one of your friends...so you can be there to help them through it when the proverbial hits the fan. Right now, it's probably keeping you out of a lot of different kinds of trouble, until you can find a way to get off the streets.

Are you too young to be alone in all the US states? If they vary, and there's a place where the age is lower, are you able to get there, where you can get a job?

I agree with Dominic that your dad's sexuality isn't the problem, the way he has treated you is.

During the second half of our childhood, just about everything is embarrassing, especially parents. Your parents can be the most embarrassing people in the world. Because everybody else at school feels the same about their parents, they would be quick to point at anything they thought was odd about somebody else's mum or dad. Your dad would have been made to order for kids to ridicule, but don't blame him for that.

Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that the fact that somebody doesn't like you says something about you. It often says more about the person who dislikes than the disliked one. Bullies everywhere are fond of thinking that the fact that they have it in for somebody means that there's something wrong or bad about that person. It's almost never so. Don't fall for it.

School is such a big part of anybody's childhood, what happens there can be really devastating. I think the trick is not to let the hurt and humiliation that's been inflicted on you there ruin the rest of your life.

Your dad will have undergone a long, painful process, coming to terms with himself. Now he'll be hoping that his family will be able to come to terms with him too. Some of them probably won't. There is never any excuse for abusing somebody, especially somebody who can't fight back, like a child. But maybe it's worth keeping in mind that your father will have been very stressed for about half his life. I repeat, that's not an excuse...just a possible reason. He probably gets very angry and frustrated with the constant battle to just be accepted.

You will not become an abuser because you have been abused. Historically, this has occurred. It hasn't occurred in all cases, not ever. It's time people stopped sprouting this as 'fact', because it is doing even more harm to adults who have been abused as children. This is an example of statistics being misused. You already know better; you've just told us so. You've had the opportunity to look at what has happened to you, to evaluate how wrong it is, and as a result, your future children will be the safest kids around. Not only will you never abuse them, you will take fine care that nobody else gets an opportunity to do so.
Stop worrying about it...your reactions so far have been defensive. Your kids will have a dad who knows more about life, and about people, than most people's dads ever could. This won't be an average family. :D

Keep on trying to find a way to get yourself housed; it's possible to be safe inside walls and still be free. I think you already know the formula for making that work. ;) You've seen how it's possible for people to just sit for years in a situation they could get out of, just accepting it...you'll never do that, you've already got yourself moving. Now you have to make sure the direction you're moving in is a good one.

If it comes between even abuse parents and being homeless, I would stay off the street. There are many dangers out there being on the street and believe me when I say "no, you aren't savy enough to dodge them all". I had a similar problem when I was younger, I did what ever I could to get off the street and find other people that I could stay with, when I was 15 I lived in a one bedroom with 3 other guys while I washed dishes, it was hard, but it beat the hell out of being in my drunk, punch happy dad's house - looking back it was worth it, all of it prepared me for the real job world and made me a more determined person.

There is no invalid reason in my mind- Only the truth that's in your heart. I can't say what is best for you. If you find what it is you want, then and only then can I help you. I suggest you look at ALL of your options, because no matter how tight the situation there are always choices you can make. Even if you stay homeless now, you could get a job and save money towards a place. You may not be old enough to be emacipated, but if you can support yourself you could probably rent out with a friend anyway. Many a kid has done it. Here, the system is too bogged up for anyone to care unless serious complaints have been made repeatedly, and even then maybe not. But open up your heart and do what feels right- Don't turn a blind eye to any ideas. Be determined and you'll find your way.

I do agree with Rose that just because you've been abused certainly does not promise you will become an abuser. I imagine having a father that is transgendered can be very confusing and hurtful: I'm sure somewhere you love your father, but at the same time you probably feel he distances you from everyone else. Don't feel guilt, though, if that's how you feel, because certainly I would feel the same way even though I have nothing against transgendered folks. I wonder if his sexuality makes you more uptight about how he treats you, or vice versa. Life at home sounds very stressful for you, but escape from it and you fall into another wounding situation. Life is very hard- You have to pick which agony you'd rather suffer and for what gains.

Best o' luck mate ;)